My Mistake

everyone assumes
that my heart doesn’t ache
it was my decision
or was it my mistake?
for months I cried
watched my own heart bleed
begged and pleaded
but couldn’t succeed

I’m not a cold bitch
I’m a lost soul
the world that I knew
is no longer whole
I cry to sleep at night
I cry driving home
I cried for months with you
and now I cry alone

smiles hide my sorrow
laughter clouds my pain
the boy who adored me
had the nerve to change
you’re taking applications
you missed being free
the boy who was shattered
made a complete recovery

so now I see a smile
where there used to be a frown
other girls will help you
get your feet back on the ground
I’ll keep myself at distance
I want you to enjoy
whatever it is you’re lookin’ for
a soul-mate or a toy

it turns my stomach
when I think about the past
and how all I wanted
was to make it last
and how you couldn’t hear me
plead, and cry, and warn
but that’s how it goes
when you don’t care anymore

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